At some point in my life, a lot of things became uncool. You plod through school with your Disney pencil case and Sketchers trainers and then one day, usually at the start of secondary school – you can’t bring your Disney pencil case anymore, and you spend weeks persuading your mum that you need new trainers, even though yours are quite new and still fit.
At around 14 years old someone decided that rucksacks weren’t cool anymore, so you had to squeeze everything you owned in to a 1-shoulder cloth bag and carry your folders in your arms. If you absolutely had to have a rucksack you work it as low as possible. Healthy eating became uncool…… then eating became uncool. If you ate breakfast everyone looked at you like you had 5 heads. Doing your homework became uncool, and then putting any sort of effort in to your education became uncool. Who stayed up later was a competition. How many friends you had on MySpace became a competition. You have a pencil case?! Gasp. No, you had a pen in the bottom of your bag, and it was cooler if it didn’t work.
After secondary school I sort of realised these rules were a bit silly, and started doing as I pleased, but it wasn’t until I came to University that I realised that cool and uncool doesn’t really exist, because there are other people like you too. In my house, it is encouraged to eat breakfast, and eat healthily. Working hard towards your degree is admired, and having a hobby, whatever it is, is envied. My pencil case is filled to the brim – and they all work. I wear whatever I want (unfortunately for my housemates it’s usually lycra in horrendous colours), I want to get rid of ‘friends’ from social networking sites and I go to sleep at 8pm if I need to.
In spite of this, there was one rule from school that I really couldn’t get over. The rucksack.
I remember last summer I borrowed my boyfriend’s to walk somewhere, and the entire walk I was thinking ‘Is everyone staring at me?’ Then, I started to get a bit jealous. An entire weekends worth of clothes in a rucksack made travelling easy for him. A weekend’s worth of stuff in a shoulder bag made travelling a right mission for me. Walking to the library with a laptop bag, a handbag, and usually another bag of books/food was a nightmare, I’d get there lop sided and in a right mood. Taking kit to the gym in a canvas bag was a pain and nothing ever fit.
I decided to buy one, and it literally took me months to find one that I liked. It took me longer to buy it, and longer still to actually use it. And when I finally did work up the courage to take it outside, the world didn’t end. No one even looked at me. But it felt quite good, a big ‘F you’ to everyone in school that dictated what I’d do for years.
This story isn’t about a rucksack. It’s about being true to yourself, and doing what you want to do in life – regardless of whether it’s ‘cool’ or not.
I love this story.
I came to the same realisations as you when I totally lost it at 16 because all of the ‘rules’ people had made actually started to break down my sense of identity. Our school was like Mean Girls on acid: trying to avoid being singled out made me terrified, paranoid and, eventually, agoraphobic. I remember distinctly at the age of 11 bursting into tears in public when I was out with my Mum because I thought people were staring at me for being ugly and wearing the ‘wrong’ clothes.
Because I was a goody two-shoes, I always had a rucksack and pens that worked. Thus, I was terribly ‘uncool.’ I wouldn’t drink, didn’t have a boyfriend (and so was *obviously* a lesbian by most people’s logic), never tried drugs and didn’t join Facebook until 2009. I have never used MySpace.
I am literally the only girl at Uni with a rucksack and I don’t give a flying…fig. If people want to stare, let them. I really don’t have the time for such things any more. I think what helped me in the end was the fact that, even trying to be someone I wasn’t, I still wasn’t good enough for the ‘cool’ girls. I’d never be thin, pretty or stylish enough. I’m naturally a geeky tomboy, I can’t lie convincingly (lying at all makes me freak out), and I’m a crap actor. So in the end, life kind of forced me to be true to myself, or else spend my entire life in a broom cupboard.
Once again: LOVE this post.
xxx
I love the story and the message!
I love rucksacks.
I think I’m oblivious to what’s cool. I had a rucksack all. the. way. through. school. Also through Sixth Form and never actually thought about it. I was like the perfect image of uncool/off-trend: with a packed lunch box not a school lunch, always wore tights and not stupid trainer socks, I used to always have a book in by bag, pencil cases that were bright and usually supposed to be for children, homework always in on time, wasn’t on facebook until late 2008, never even used msn or myspace, don’t drink, used to bring thermos flasks of soup and most of the time hadn’t heard of anyone in the music charts. To be honest though, it wasn’t I was particularly aware of so it didn’t bother me. It still doesn’t. My mum instilled a strong belief in oneself and independence of mind and body and I think that has grounded me in a lot of ways.
Who you are is the important part, not what clothes you are wearing or what bag you are using.
I now walk around in a blue puffer jacket during the wintery months because it’s cold and my biggest priority is warmth. I know people think it’s funny and so deeply uncool they probably feel sorry for me but, I don’t care. I also wear glasses rather than contacts because… well just because… I think as you get older you do care less about what people think.
I’m glad you have embraced your love for rucksacks.
xx
*highfive* it’s never been so cool to be uncool (or hip to be square, yes?)
xxx
Great post! You are so right, I hated that cool / uncool thing in school. So glad to be free of it but it does take a lot of confidence and self assurance to not care what other people think. My manager at work is really into personal development and says you can be externally referenced, i.e. care about what others think of you, or internally referenced where you make up your own rules! I’m almost completely internally referenced now thank god! I also love rucksacks! I was so chuffed when I went back to uni for my MA so I could buy a new one!
AMEN to the rucksack and all that it represents
i have a rucksack and im damned proud. its useful, waaay more comfy than those trendy “over the shoulder” bags and its red, my fave colour (i even have a flower print paisley one, its the bomb :-p)
you rock that rucksack girl, and make sure everyone walking with a lopsided shoulder knows it!!!
Totally agree, I am frowned upon by my sisters for wearing a backpack but its needed, I don’t wear it for fashion I wear it for ease! x x
i would just like to point out rucksacks are functional and therefore amazingly cool, especially southern comfort ones.
especially so co rucksacks filled with soco!
Amen to this!
This post made me laugh and it made me reminisce, I love it. I had a rucksack in year 7, my mum bought it for me and I didn’t know it was going to be seen as ‘uncool’, I had it till part of the way through year 8 and then I just refused to use it anymore. Who could have thought that the type of bag you carry would dictate your ‘coolness’! I carried a shoulder bag with me throughout the majority of the rest of my education which gradually grew in size due to number of books. By lower sixth I was carrying a bag which was effectively the size of an overnight bag! Then I got my cane… Believe me huge shoulder bags and canes just isn’t a good mix. So I got a cute floral and leather rucksack and I love it. Having said that, I mostly use my Cambridge satchel now, I can’t help it, I think I’m in love
I love the message behind this post, it’s beautiful Leigh
It’s so important to be true to yourself and it really does make you happier!
This is brilliant : )
I think I had a rucksack until sixth form, when I found a black corduroy bag (still pretty big!) that I fell in love with and used for about five years until it died a death. Meh, we had lockers, and I didn’t really take my textbooks home all that often.. Overall, I think I did a reasonable job at doing my own thing at school…not always easy, but looking back I’m glad I did.
One thing I remember about my first secondary school was the Plastic Bag thing: if you dared to take your PE kit to school in a supermarket plastic bag….definitely uncool, and best to avoid if you valued your life.
I pilfered a massive red rucksack of my dad’s (like, “I can live out of this for a month” massive) a few years back, and I love it. It’s so much easier travelling with a rucksack than a case. On a day to day basis I prefer a tatty canvas one-strap bag, but I do have this magical not-quite-rucksack from Muji for when I’m going to be walking far and carrying heavier stuff. It looks quite small, but it’s MASSIVE inside.
You’re going to have me looking at rucksacks in an entirely new light, now. : )
Ruck sacks are indeed cool and also very practical!
I love this story it is so true! You shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to do!